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A.) LOL, cherry red poker, because oh, sure, that ALWAYS happens in open fireplaces not urged on by blacksmith's bellows,

B.) And WOW does Christopher Pike create a time-capsule with the burning-Black-entertainers jokes. That joke was ... pure elementary school, right there. What a time,

C.) Because I am That Girl, I once looked up the etymology of "on the horn," - the old-fashioned candlestick receivers and ear-horns from the late 19th/early 20th c. were flared like... ram's horns, thus "on the horn" is a hugely out-of-time phrase for anyone not from 1915, much less being used in a teen novel, HELLO,

D.) DID I NOT SAY THERE WOULD BE SPONTANEOUS HUMAN COMBUSTION!? Celeste notwithstanding (what was even THAT about).

E.) I don't think Cal's gone either. And, and, A-N-D, get this: he's been described as both fat and unattractive. I think he's our guy... I mean, only fat/queer/disabled/neurodivergent or people with albinism are murdery in 80's teen novels, yes? Yes. We've got this. Other than the snowman (!?!?!) which I am not yet convinced was not a mass hallucination (is it mass if it's, like, six girls?), I believe we have this novel completely figured out now, I'm sure of it. (Reader, it was so bonkers she was not sure at all.)

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I remembered the Michael Jackson horrorshow when I read that bit, but had to look up the Richard Pryor one, which good lord, what a nightmare. I can only imagine how terrible The Discourse of the time would have been, gross.

THANK YOU for looking up "on the horn," I can't believe I've never done that!! One of the teens in the book I'm reading right now just used the word "canoodling" which made me fall over laughing purely because that's one of those words that I always find funny. (Bonus: it actually totally worked in context!!)

I still think Cal is a red herring because he's SO awful and also doesn't seem bright enough to pull off... whatever is being pulled off??? But I could certainly see him getting manipulated into helping The Mastermind.

I'm having one of those days where I REALLY wish teleportation was a thing, because I'm reading a (different) mystery novel and like every twenty pages I come up with a New Theory and I'd really like to keep popping in to your living room and shouting out-of-context things like AND ANOTHER THING, NOW I THINK THE MEAN POLICE OFFICER IS ACTUALLY A MOLE!!! and then disappearing again. Heh.

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....eeeyeah, now that I think about it, Cal IS kind of lacking evil Mastermind energy. I'll bet Perry is the one who will be manipulated into helping The Bad People win. He's such a tool.

Aw, man, I wish teleporting was a thing, too. Although there would be a lot of spit-takes, as I am working on Very Serious Editorial Crap today, but today of all days I'd welcome the out-of-context flailing. *notes in schedule to work harder on faster-than-light travel*

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We had our town meeting last night—the library budget passed, so I'm employed for another year, wheeeee!—and now patrons are starting to come in with baked goods for the book sale tomorrow... so I'm now staring at a giant pile of whoopie pies and VERY much wishing we could split one right now! <3

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